Smart, goodlooking and wealthy
by Raikea
Summary: How does it feel to be disgusted with yourself? Well, Shinobu is about to find out.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** This was written as a oneshot but it has 7 pages in Word so I divided it in two chapters. So make sure you don't miss the end of the story tomorrow :) Well, hope you gonna like it. Please, tell me what you think and enjoy :)

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**Smart, good-looking and wealthy**

_Irritated. I feel really irritated right now_, a though crossed Shinobu's mind.

"Shinobu-chan, do you have a girlfriend?" black haired girl named Naomi was standing in front of him holding her bag in hand. "Well, I would like to be friends with you, so call me anytime you feel like talking to someone."

Before leaving she left him a note with her number written with a red pen on blue paper. Naomi met few her friends in front of the university and left. Shinobu was standing with her number in his fist. Suddenly he heard his cell ringing taking him back to reality. He took it out from the bag and opened it.

"Are your classes finished for today?" he heard the question coming from his lover.

"Yeah, I'm finished", he replied and looked at the number in his hand. "You gonna pick me up?"

"I'll be there in few minutes. Just wait me at the front gate", Miyagi told him and ended the call.

_I love you too_, Shinobu thought while closing his cell and returning it back to his bag. It's been a while since they started dating but Miyagi never told him that he loves him while talking with him on the phone. He used to tell him that only while they were making love.

Few students passed Shinobu and went they way. Shinobu leaned on the brick wall and look at the Naomi's note again. He wanted them to leave him alone, he didn't want a girlfriend, only one he needed was Miyagi even though he wasn't paying too much attention to him and that started to bother him recently. He felt like something was missing but he didn't know what.

When he heard a car parking nearby he quickly hid the note inside his jacket pocket and turned around. Miyagi was waiting inside the car for him. Shinobu frowned and went to the car, opened the door and sat inside.

Miyagi looked at him. "Something's wrong?" he asked.

Shinobu just turned his look. "No", he answered shortly. "Let's go home."

Without any further questions Miyagi took them home. During the ride neither of them spoke so the atmosphere was pretty awkward. When they came to Miyagi's apartment, Shinobu put his bag on the sofa and sat without a word.

He couldn't get that girl Naomi out of his mind. She was pretty handsome with her long dark hair and green eyes. She was from the rich family and they get to know each other through their parents who were friends. Today she met him at the university and gave him her number with a whish to be his girlfriend, Shinobu knew that but he didn't know that they were going to the same university. That was making everything complicated because he wasn't feeling cold towards her. There was something inside her that was making him feel weird.

"What's wrong with you today? Something happened in school or at home?" Miyagi started asking him after taking a seat near him. "Did I do something?"

_Just tell me that you love me,_ Shinobu thought while he was looking at the floor.

Miyagi leaned to him and took his chin with his fingers, turning Shinobu's face to him. Shinobu's cheeks got blushed a bit but he didn't let Miyagi kiss him, instead he lowered his head and his look. Miyagi put his face in his palms and raised it to his face which looked emotionless. Shinobu was still blushing but his cheeks weren't burning like they used to. Miyagi pressed their lips together and plunged his fingers inside Shinobu's light hair. Kid was acting sluggish and that started to irritate Miyagi who tried to deepen the kiss but kid was refusing to participate and open his mouth.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Miyagi asked him really irritated after taking his fingers out of his hair and parting their lips.

Shinobu stared at him waiting for something, waiting for Miyagi to tell him that he loves him but he didn't do that. Few moments later Shinobu turned, grabbed his bag and got up. Miyagi was looking at him confused while he was leaving the room but then he got up and run to catch him. He caught Shinobu in the hallway and grabbed his wrist. Shinobu turned to him and Miyagi saw tears in the corners of kid's eyes.

"Let go off me!" he exclaimed and wrested his wrist out of Miyagi's squeamish. "I'm going home."

"What did I do now?" Miyagi insisted on the answer following the kid who was going towards the front door. "What do you want me to do? Just tell me! I'm sick of fighting with you just because you don't want to tell me what's bothering you!"

"I'm breaking up with you!" he exclaimed and made Miyagi stop with shock and horror.

Before he had any time to reply, Shinobu left his house slamming the door behind him. Miyagi could barely believe his ears.

_What the hell happened just now,_ he asked himself.

It was raining outside and Shinobu had a long way to the station but he didn't really care. He was running down the streets while tears were sliding down his pale face. Rain was pouring from the clouds making the day get darker. He felt his clothes getting wet and pasting to his body which was shivering from sadness and cold wind which was blowing down the streets. His hair got wet too and he felt dreadful.

When he got home he ran right to his room, locking the door behind him and falling on the bed. He couldn't control tears sliding down his cheeks and trembling of his body.

"Why can't you just tell me that you love me? Because you never really loved me? Because you are just using me and going out with me just to shut me up, out of sympathy? I don't need that! I don't need anything from you! Not now; not ever again!" he was crying and mumbling before he fell asleep overstrained.

The next day Shinobu woke up late. It was Sunday so there was no school. He felt a little dizzy but he wasn't paying too much attention to his condition. He got dressed in casual clothes, leaving his school uniform in the wardrobe. After lunch he took his cell and sent a text message to the Naomi. He felt like turning a new page in his life.

After he sent the message he sat on the bed with restlessness in his heart. He remembered the last night and Miyagi who was trying to make love to him. He felt tears creating in his eyes so he brushed them before they started sliding down his face. Last thing he wanted was to think about that stupid old man. He promised himself that he'll forget him and try to find someone who will really love him and who will tell him that he loves him every single day without making love to him. Naomi was his chance for happiness or that's what he thought.

Suddenly his cell rang and in one second he thought that's Miyagi so he jumped to his cell like he forgot what he promised to himself. But he saw Naomi's number on the screen so he took a deep breath before answering.

"Hey Shinobu", he heard her cheerful voice so he put a little smile on his lips. "I'm so glad that you sent me a message, really. So, are you free today? No learning for university?"

"Actually no", he replied feeling insecure a bit.

"Then why don't you come visit me. My parents aren't home so we will be alone. Maybe we could watch some movie or something", Naomi was explaining eagerly.

"Sounds good. I'll be there in an hour", Shinobu told her and closed his cell.

_I'll have to be really careful so that I don't do something I'll regret later,_ he was thinking while he was leaving the house.

Naomi looked very happy when she saw him on the front porch of her house. She was beautiful as usual, especially now dressed in brown skirt and light blue shirt. Her long hair was full of blue pins holding her hair out of her pretty face.

"Please come in", she told him and grabbed his arm taking him inside the big house.

She took him to the living room and Shinobu followed. House she was living in was so much bigger that his and it was decorated in completely different style. It really looked like a house of a rich family, like a house from American movies. Naomi placed him on the white sofa and she sat on the floor near the big plasma screen and black DVD. She took few discs in hands.

"What do you wanna watch; action, horror, thriller, romance?" she asked.

Shinobu could barely concentrate because suddenly he felt dizzy and sick. Naomi looked at him and saw his pale face so she left the discs on DVD and walked towards him. She leaned him on the sofa and placed her cold palm on his hot forehead. Naomi got out of the living room and came back with a glass of water and pill for cold.

"Take this. You gonna feel better", she told him so he listened to her.

"Thank you", Shinobu told her giving her the glass back.

Naomi placed the glass on the small table and then she helped him to lie down. Shinobu wasn't complaining; he just let her to do with him whatever she wanted. Few minutes later she covered him with a warm blanket. He felt his lids getting heavy so he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

When he woke up it was sunset. Room was filled with orange light and he needed a minute to remember where he was. Then he saw Naomi sitting in the armchair and reading a book.

"Shinobu-chan, how do you feel?" her voice sounded worried.

"I'm better now, thanks to you", Shinobu told her.

Naomi got blushed. "It's nothing. You know, you were sleeping so peacefully so I didn't want to wake you up. Hope you don't mind", he said leaving the book on the table.

"Nobody did something like that for me", he told her and felt a lump in his throat. _Not even Miyagi who was supposed to be my lover._

"I really like you Shinobu-chan", Naomi told him and he felt his heart ached.

"I don't want to go home yet. Why don't we go out somewhere?" Shinobu asked her feeling better than he felt the whole day, feeling better than he used to feel last few weeks.

"Are you sure? You didn't look that good few hours ago", she asked afraid.

"Let's go, Naomi. I'm fine; really", he told her before he got up and grabbed her wrist.

Naomi took him to the disco she used to go to. It was near her house and it was pretty big. They stayed there few hours. Shinobu felt good with her, he managed to forget all his problems and especially the fight with Miyagi. Naomi made him dance and laugh and he felt alive like never before. Going out to disco was something Miyagi could never give to him. They always had to hide but with Naomi everything felt different.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: **This is the continue of the story which was written as a oneshot but it was too long so I divided it in two parts. I was supposed to post this yesterday but I was on the funeral...

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**Smart, good-looking and wealthy**

They got back home when it was already night and dark. Naomi took him to her room because her parents were supposed to come home only tomorrow afternoon. Shinobu wasn't resisting, he just followed her. He was still feeling enchanted and amazed by all those lights, loud music and all those people dancing around him imprisoned in their own little worlds. He never felt something like that in his whole life; nothing could be compared with that experience. Shinobu was never the type of person who goes on parties to the morning, he doesn't go the cafes or discos, and he never danced before especially not with a girl. Everything felt fascinating and new. His head was full of that new experience and he wasn't prepared for what Naomi had in mind.

She pushed him on her bed so he fell on it. Shinobu was looking at her while she was leaning to him and taking his face in her hands. He couldn't move even though he knew what's going to happen if he doesn't move. Naomi touched his lips with hers without opening her mouth; she was just playing with his lips touching them smoothly and gently. Shinobu was kinda confused because he wasn't used to that; every time he was kissing with Miyagi he opened his mouth from the very first time. They never played with their lips like this. Naomi moved and stared and his eyes. Shinobu felt his cheeks getting blushed so he wanted to hide that; he wanted to show her that he can actually do something, that he knows how to make love. He kissed her the only way he knew; by opening his mouth and sticking his tongue inside her mouth. Naomi accepted his way and started kissing him as passionate as she could.

Shinobu got deep into it with her. He couldn't resist, he didn't want to resist. He didn't even remember that he has a lover: Miyagi, and that he loves him the most in this whole world despite the way he treats him.

Naomi started taking off his clothes and he was obeying to her skilled hands. He helped her to take off her clothes and got blushed even more because it was his first time with a girl. She placed him on the aromatic linen and got onto him taking his wrists into her palms. Shinobu couldn't control himself. She was so close to his face so he lifted his head a bit and kissed her sticking his tongue inside. When they parted their lips she started to kiss his face, his neck, his chest…

It was already middle of the day when Shinobu finally opened his eyes. He found himself lying in the unknown room, inside the bed which didn't belong to him. He sat in bed and his look fell on a black-haired girl sitting a sofa under the window reading a book. She turned to him and lowered the book she has been reading.

"Good morning, Shinobu-chan", she told him with a soft voice. ,"You really are pretty when you sleep."

"I have to go home now", Shinobu blurted quietly. "I'm sorry, Naomi."

She got up from the sofa and took a seat beside him. Shinobu turned his look from shame while his cheeks got rose color.

"I love you, Shinobu-chan", she told him and tried to kiss his cheek but Shinobu moved away from her. "Why are you doing this?"

"I-I…" he started to hesitate.

He didn't know what to do. He knew very well what happen and he knew he can't erase that and he started to feel disgusted with himself. He remembered his lover who didn't deserve that. _Miyagi, I'm so sorry. I love you so much… I really love you…_ He couldn't look at her; he couldn't control tears which started to create in his eyes. He had to go, go home. He felt the urge to wash himself, to steep in the bath whole day to wash the previous night from his body. He had to move from her, to run away, to go back home… to hide…

"Shinobu", her voice was filled with sadness.

"I really am sorry for everything", Shinobu started to apologize. "I can't be with you. You are a good girl and all but I love someone else. I'm going out with someone else. I didn't want this to happen, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, Shinobu-chan", Naomi told him softly. "I wanted it and don't worry; I won't tell anyone. I promise."

Naomi hugged him softly and then she gave him his clothes and got out of the room. Shinobu felt first tears that day sliding down his warm face. That moment he started to shiver and he didn't stop the whole day. After getting out of the bed he quickly got dressed and left her house forever. He ran back to his home as fast as he could. He just wanted to get home as soon as possible.

When he got home he ran inside the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Shinobu started to tear his clothes off him while tears were still falling down his face. Then he got inside the bath and opened the water letting it hitting and pouring his shivering body. He couldn't move he was just crying and feeling disgusted with himself. He couldn't prevent that feeling to fill his heart. Water was making noise so he couldn't hear anything except his sobbing. He just wanted to forget, to erase the memory on the last night, on the biggest mistake me made in his whole life. He didn't know what he is going to do next; he couldn't go back to Miyagi because he felt like he's never going to be able to face him without confessing him what he's done. He was thinking that maybe he should told Miyagi what happen and ask for forgiveness. Only thing Shinobu knew was that he couldn't live without Miyagi but he also couldn't stop feeling disgusted with himself and that made him cry whole day without stopping.

The next day he got back to university. He told his father that he was feeling sick previous day and that's why he didn't go to university. His only mission that day was to avoid Naomi.

Shinobu ran out of the university as soon as it rang for the end. He wanted to go home, to hide inside his room and to cry but one look at the front gate made him froze. Miyagi was waiting there for him with a worried look on his face. Shinobu felt tears falling down his face again and he started to shiver again but he couldn't move.

"Shinobu, are you feeling better today? Your father told me…" Miyagi was saying while he was walking towards him but he stopped when he saw Shinobu's face dirty from tears which were still falling down his pale cheeks. "Shinobu, what happened? Why are you crying? About the other day, I can't…"

"Miyagi", Shinobu whispered very quietly while he was still shivering. Miyagi looked really concerned for his condition so he tried to hug him but Shinobu moved away. "I… I cheated on you! I didn't want to and I'm really sorry. I want you to forgive me. You know I love you like I've never loved anyone in my life. I don't want you to hate me because I'm really sorry and I feel disgusted with myself because of that. I really didn't want to cheat on you… I really… Miyagi… forgive… me… please…"

In that moment Shinobu lost his conscience and fell right into Miyagi's arms who was shocked of what he confessed him but was still alerted of his lover's behavior. Miyagi took Shinobu into his arms and carried him to the car, placing him on the back seat and taking him to his apartment.

Miyagi took him to the bedroom and placed him the bed, covering him with the blanket and making his lover feel comfortable. Then he took a place beside him and covered his mouth with a palm.

_Shinobu, what did you do? What were you saying to me? I don't hate you, how could I hate you when I love you this much and I'm ready to forgive you everything. Such a great person like you shouldn't try that hard. You shouldn't feel disgusted with yourself… Shinobu…_

Miyagi stayed beside him until Shinobu finally opened his eyes. He got a cold and Miyagi knew that and that's why he put a wet rag on Shinobu's hot forehead.

The moment Shinobu opened his eyes and the moment he saw Miyagi, she started to cry again. The feeling of disgusting overcame him again so he felt embarrassed and he couldn't look at Miyagi so he turned his look away.

"Shinobu", Miyagi called his name.

"I was really mad at you that day. I just wanted you to tell me that you love me but you haven't. I met her and she gave me her number and she told me that she likes me… and I… I did it with her… I told her I can't… I can't love her because I love you… I hate myself and I want to turn back the time", Miyagi turned Shinobu's face to his so Shinobu started to cry even harder. "I'm begging you to forgive me! Please, Miyagi, forgive me. I'll do anything you want, just forgive me and don't hate me. It's enough that I feel disgusted with myself and that I hate myself. I wouldn't be able to accept your hate towards me. I can't be without you… Miyagi…"

"First, I want you to stop upsetting yourself because you have a cold and you should rest", Miyagi told him seriously. "Second, how could you possible think that I can hate you? Why do you think that I don't love you? I love you. I love you more than I ever loved anyone, more than I loved Sensei. You're my everything. Without you my life makes no sense anymore. Third, I would like you to stop hating yourself. It happened and it belongs to the past now. I don't care and I don't think that you should feel disgusted. I know it's hard for you but you have to know that sometimes we do stuff we regret later but you shouldn't kill yourself because of that."

"But…" Shinobu fought back. "I cheated on you!"

"So, you really want to break up with me that badly?" Miyagi asked already knowing what his lover's answer is going to be.

"No but I…" Shinobu cried.

"Then stop worrying. I forgive you. I need you, Shinobu, more than you think", Miyagi told him and took his face into his palms. "I love you, you silly little kid."

Shinobu felt his cheeks getting blushed and burning like before. In that moment they both knew that they belonged together. Miyagi leaned to Shinobu's face and Shinobu kissed him as harder as he could with opening his mouth and sticking his tongue inside his lover's mouth. Everything felt like before and Shinobu knew that he was forgiven and that made him hate himself a little bit less. Miyagi parted their lips and hugged him pretty strong hoping that way Shinobu will finally learn that he loves him the same as Shinobu loves him.

"Miyagi, I love you", Shinobu whispered through tears.

~~~~~~~~~~END~~~~~~~~~~


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